


Touch

by eiralucia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst because it's me, But it is so soft, Lance is just loving, M/M, Minor Allura/Keith (Voltron), Promise, Shiro has PTSD, Soft shance, i don't know how kallura got here, i needed happy, let them love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23222257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eiralucia/pseuds/eiralucia
Summary: Humans are wired for touch.Touch is comfort.Touch is healing.Touch is love.Why won't anyone touch Shiro?
Relationships: Lance/Shiro (Voltron), Shance - Relationship
Comments: 16
Kudos: 129





	Touch

Years into being a Paladin of Voltron Lance is still learning the ways his teammates need physical touch. Touch was always important to his processing life. With the four other, mostly humans, Lance found it became as vital as air. 

When Hunk first found teeny-bopper Lance, touch was big motions. Hunk resting the length of his body against Lance when he needed to be grounded. Lance sprawling across his lap in dramatic fashion. Whenever emotions ran high, the two found a way to connect nearly head to toe. 

After bonding through the Lions and Quintessence, this touch lost its urgency. There was never intimacy there beyond best-bros. But the mind-melding made it hard to hide any needs. And Lance was always there to lean on.

Pidge was flighty with their touch. They craved it more than Hunk but struggled to express the need. Once Sam and Matt Holt had been found, Lance saw and took note of how to meet the unspoken need for touch. 

Lance saw how their family gave firm back pats and swung them into hugs with little warning. He watched Pidge squeal and squirm away. Then he watched them settle back to work with all the tension falling from their shoulders. 

Lance got great at reading when Pidge needed touch. He didn’t often rely on their bond. Sometimes, though, it was hard to ignore the heavy colors of fear and loneliness. Lance was always first to sweep Pidge into a swinging hug.

If you asked Lance to describe what Keith’s needs for physical touch were, he would laugh in your face. Keith needed it all. Like every variation. Lance refused to offer all but they had learned together how to meet it. 

Keith needed a sharp jab to the gut when he scowled too darkly. He needed a swift kick to the shins when he began to rant angry, self-loathing thoughts. Keith needed the tightest, bone-crushing hugs -- which Lance always sent him to Hunk for. 

Keith needed soft hands to hold. He needed a warm embrace to hide in. Keith needed wild, uninhibited . . . . Allura, he needed Allura. Lance stayed out of that. But he was eager to make sure his best rival was taken care of. 

The one who stumped Lance for the longest was Shiro. It was so obvious to Lance that his PTSD limited Shiro’s willingness to offer clues to his needs. He had been a bubbly, friendly, soul before Kerberos. And remained kind after, but often unapproachable. 

Lance watched him endlessly. The bond was as strong between them as with the others but strained. Lance could always  _ see _ the colors of Pidge and Hunk and Keith. He could even feel Allura and Coran in the distance. But Shiro only shared when it was required or asked. 

Some days Lance would swear Shiro was about to join in a group hug or snuggle into a spare spot on the couch. Lance could see the ache for closeness in Shiro’s eyes. But every time Hunk leaned in close or Pidge slid a limb too near, Shiro would flinch and fold in on himself. 

Lance watched how Keith interacted with Shiro. He figured that since they knew each other the longest and were closest since before Kerberos that Keith would have some secret trick for getting one Takashi Shirogane to find peace around them. 

Keith only ever touched Shiro during combat training. And since Shiro had returned to them Keith rarely even did that. It was almost as if Keith was afraid to touch Shiro. Like he would disappear with the slightest contact. 

Lance began to really worry about Shiro. They had been fighting for the universe together for years. How could Shiro hide so much from them? Sure there was the occasional shoulder pat or high five. Even hugs weren’t unheard of. But Lance noticed that they were always initiated by Shiro. 

No one ever hugged him first. No one just leaned into him to be near. No one touched Shiro unless he started it. In fact, the last time that Lance can remember anyone touching Shiro first was months after the Galra were finally defeated and Griffin tried to nudge Shiro with a friendly shoulder knock. He’d ended up on his ass staring up at the shocked faces of the Atlas crew.

Shiro had grabbed James by the arm, swung around and slammed him bodily onto the floor. That was also the day that Shiro told the team about his time in the Galra gladiator rings for the first time. He finally opened up about the year he existed without a physical form. A lot had gone down that day and they grew that much closer but no one touched Shiro after that. 

Lance hated himself for not noticing until now. How could he have let a fellow Paladin suffer for so long? How could he not do everything in his power to help him? How could Lance ignore one of the greatest human needs of the single greatest human he’s ever known?

So he started by talking to Shiro. They had all grown so much over the years. They had promised to always try communicating. Lance felt so very uncomfortable about going up to his best friend and strongest leader to say “Hey, so you need more hugs and I am going to help you fix that.” Yeah, not the easiest conversation. 

Surprisingly, Shiro agreed. He knew he needed more. He knew he needed to ask. But something inside broke every time he tried. Lance sat in silence with a sobbing Shiro in his arms for hours that night. He let Shiro expel whatever pain was tied tightly inside. Lance never left, even after Shiro finally settled into a heavy sleep. 

The next morning found Lance thrown to the floor when Shiro woke to find himself not alone. He apologized profusely but Lance just chuckled and said he was glad the whole crew didn’t see. Lance sat back on the bed and started again.

“Look, we can’t expect to solve years of trauma in a single night. Just know that from now on out, I am here. Full stop. I am just here.” Lance let out a soft hum and touched one finger to Shiro’s hand. 

Shiro tensed up but watched Lance move. He let himself receive the single, soft touch. Shiro let out a long breath. “Okay. Yeah, okay.”

They took their time wandering out to breakfast with the rest of the team. Shiro lingered in a very hot shower. While Lance returned to his room for a thorough face wash and a good 15 minutes staring at the ceiling from his bed. He was going to make sure Shiro didn’t go backward in this. Lance was going to make it his mission to help Shiro in this one small way. 

They met in the hall and Lance hummed a bright smile as he brushed the back of his hand on Shiro’s. Shiro still tensed but could see the gentle movement coming. He smiled back softly. 

That became routine. A soft hum before a very obvious gesture. Lance made sure to only offer this when they were alone or just passing. He knew how his touch could get overwhelming. Pidge had made that fact  _ very _ well known. 

After a short while, Shiro began to lean into the soft touches. He’d hear Lance’s voice lower to a hum and his shoulders would soften instead of tense. Lance would smile the brightest of smiles when he did this. Shiro would melt inside.

It was a good few weeks of just Lance touching Shiro’s hand or arm in passing. Then he began to sit as close to Shiro as space allowed. He’d let loose a soft hum and settle in next to Shiro at the table or on the couch. Any time he would sneak in between Shiro and Keith at debriefs, he would hum quietly and lean just a little.

Shiro began to crave Lance’s voice and touch. He had long since stopped tensing at the proximity to others. He had even begun to lean toward Lance wherever he may be. It was subtle and slow, but Shiro was learning to be touched kindly again. 

Then there was one night that Lance burst into Shiro’s room with a small box and an overly chatty attitude. He sat on the floor of Shiro’s room, rambling away, setting out the contents of the box like he’d been invited.

He kinda had. Shiro said after training that day that he’d been sleeping poorly the last week and needed to unwind a bit. Lance had joked about a spa night and Keith laughed with him as they headed to the showers. But Shiro had smiled and nodded to Lance. The thought of time alone with the Blue Paladin calmed him. 

“...Veronica always complained about the smell but I swear to Bob these are the best in the universe.” Lance was still babbling away. 

“Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“Watcha doin’?”

Lance finally stopped organizing his things. He blushed brightly at Shiro and stuttered, “I - I just. Oh, shit. I’m sorry Shiro. I thought you were serious about a spa night. Dammit.” He moved to gather the bottles up again.

Shiro’s hand stopped him. “I did mean it. Thank you, Lance.” Then he settled onto the floor next to Lance. “Which one does Veronica hate?” They laughed together and slathered bad-smelling face masks on until they fell asleep on the floor next to each other. 

Shiro did not wake up afraid of the body tucked in next to him. 

Shiro also did not stay to wake up the body tucked in next to him.

Then Lance stepped it up. He walked behind Shiro one morning at breakfast and hummed just before he brushed his hand on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro hummed in return, rested his chin on Lance’s hand, and took another bite of his breakfast. All activity on the other side of the table screeched to a halt. 

“What the  _ hell _ just happened?” Keith nearly shouted. Allura’s hand was on his shoulder to keep him in his seat. Hunk just stared, open-mouthed as his spoon fell from his grasp. Pidge glared from under their fringe, trying to decipher any further clues.

Lance just sat down and shrugged. He poured himself a cup of mostly coffee and let Shiro lead. Shiro had tensed up a little but otherwise looked calm. Lance was learning that Shiro was getting better at defining the kinds of physical interaction he needed.

“What?” Shiro leveled his no-funny-business look at Keith. “Lance just said good morning.”

“No, he did not. “ Pidge leaned forward. “Lance did not say a word.” 

Shiro tilted a quizzical look at them, “Are you sure? I heard his voice. That is how he always says good morning to me.”

“Are you two fucking?” Hunk blurted out. He looked just as shocked at his words as the rest of them. Lance began coughing on his coffee. “I mean, you know. Are you two together? Like, are you a couple now?” He tried again.

Shiro was bright red. Lance was doubled over in his seat next to Shiro trying to find his breath. Keith was green around the edges. Allura was smirking. Coran was suddenly nowhere to be seen. And Pidge had settled back into their seat with a look of triumph on their face. 

“No?”

“WHY IS THAT A QUESTION?!” Lance shrieked at Shiro. He was done letting Shiro lead. Shiro was very bad at leading this conversation. “We are not together. We are certainly not fucking. Wait-- why is that a question?” He suddenly looked very confused.

“No. It’s not a question. NOPE. See?” Shiro settled his shoulders to a neutral position and tried to remain calm. “We are not together.”

“Shiro?”

He braced himself to look Lance in the eye. “Hmmm?”

“Shiro, would you like to, uh. Would you like to --”

“TALK.” Keith interrupted. “Shiro and Lance go talk. Now. Away from here. Do not fuck on the table.” Allura slapped her hand across his mouth.

“I think a private talk is a very good idea.” Allura smiled regally. “But I think that we can let you have some space. We will be on the training deck when you are ready to join us.” She all but dragged Keith from the room. As a very smug Pidge pushed Hunk into motion. 

Lance was blushing the most brilliant shade and smiling softly at Shiro. “Would you like to talk, that was what I was going to ask. But I guess that's been decided already.”

Shiro tried to smile. His insides were a swirling mess though. Lance was looking so adorable and he just wanted to wrap his arms around him. Shiro took a deep breath and stood up. He began to pace the length of the table.

“Shiro?” Lance reached out to him. 

Shiro stopped just out of Lance’s reach. “Yes. I want--” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Lance, you are the brightest part of my life. You have made the single most positive impact on my otherwise traumatic life. You said that you were going to just be here for me. And you have. OH, GODS! You have been everything I didn’t know that I needed.” Shiro sat back down and reached for Lance’s hands. 

They sat staring at their hands.

Long, nimble fingers intertwined with wide, mismatched ones.

Lance felt a tear drop onto their hands. But when he looked into Shiro’s eyes he couldn’t tell which of them had let it fall.

“Lance, I want to be with you. I want more of your touch. It has soothed so much of my pain. Would you --?”

“YES.” Lance began humming. Then he wrapped his arms around Shiro in the best hug of his life. “Shiro, I will give you anything. I am so thankful to have you in my life. To have you by my side all this time. Shiro, never doubt how much I want to be with you.”

Shiro sobbed into Lance’s shoulders again. Much like that night months ago.

They sat wrapped up in each other until Shiro’s breath had even out. Lance was content to stay there forever. 

Shiro finally shifted. “I guess we have to get to training eventually.”

“Let them train, I wanna keep hugging my boyfriend.” Lance hummed a bit more. And Shiro melted a bit further. 

“You can hug your boyfriend any time, he’s pretty fond of your touch.”

  
  


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“They are totally fucking on the dining table right now.”

  
“SHUT UP PIDGE!”

**Author's Note:**

> this month has been a wild ride of changes and relearning family boundaries in my home. i just got hit by these words of how important physical touch is to functioning and healing. i also got hit by a little lemon towards the end. but that will have to be for another day.
> 
> yes. lemons. we die like the fandom moms we be.


End file.
